Team Building. Fear of Winning

Fear of Winning

In our Team Building sessions, one of the aspects we work on is participants' confidence and self-esteem. We sometimes share the following story with them:

On July 2, 1993, a magnificent tennis player went from being on the verge of winning the world's most prestigious tournament, to sinking into the deepest disappointment within minutes — in the time it takes to think "I'm about to win", or perhaps "I can't fail now". Jana Novotná was facing world number one Graf, and after losing the first set in a tie-break, she overtook the German player 6-1, and led 4-1 in the third set. Serving, with 2 championship points for 5-1, everything fell apart.

Through a series of errors, she'd lose that set and the final. Her face at the end of the match said it all, a true reflection of her feelings. What could have gone through her mind during that third set? Her game had been spectacular, effective, flawless — Graf herself would later admit she felt she couldn't do anything except hold on the way champions do. Perhaps if, instead of thinking about the result, about what she was about to achieve, she'd stayed focused on what she did best — playing tennis — the story would have been different.

There are moments where we can no longer hide behind tactics or strategy. Where we can no longer escape our anxieties, our weaknesses, or our fears. On the court, on the field, in the boardroom, or in any other life situation, there are moments where we're left exposed, just as we sometimes try to recreate in our Team Building sessions.

We've grown up immersed in environments that reward achievement, victory, results, and our outlook has been shaped by these beliefs. If the result goes our way, we're happy; if it doesn't, we should feel bad about it. How many children are asked, after a match, whether they had fun or whether they learned something? Like an automatic reflex, we immediately ask about the result: did you win?

We've been raised on fear — on what might happen to us if we didn't do the task correctly, if we behaved badly, or if we made a mistake. We're used to the negative being emphasised more than the positive, sometimes only the mistakes. We end up instilling a tendency to seek success in every task that involves evaluating a result. When we're clearly focused solely on the pursuit of that result, the fear of losing, of not winning, of not achieving, holds us back and fills us with fears, doubts, pressure, stress.

In Team Building We Foster Confidence and Self-Esteem

As we show participants in our Team Building sessions, coaching, or even corporate activities, at the key moments of a match, competition or negotiation, calm wins out, along with self-esteem, self-confidence, optimism, and positive thinking. Opportunities exist to be seized, not avoided or run from.

Our subconscious doesn't process "no". It goes straight to the representation of the situation. If I told you: close your eyes and relax, now I want you to picture yourself on a calm beach, looking at the horizon, and NOT seeing a white sailboat. You've probably just seen that sailboat. The same thing happens with "don't fail". Without realising it, the mind focuses on failing rather than on what it should do. Your mind is focused on an avoidance idea, rather than the main, positive one. It's better to focus on what you want to do, not what you want to avoid.

Believe in yourself. "A team that plays not to lose often loses. A team that plays to win often wins." John Whitmore.